Right now my skin is actually rather good for it being bad, and the spots on my neck are pretty much the only indicators of the existence of my eczema. I have had long periods in my life, when the eczema has been in remission, namely the times I have not experienced stress, since for me that is the biggest trigger for the eczema to show up. Eczema has complicated trigger mechanisms that vary among the people affected, but some common triggers are stress, winter (dry air), some fabrics, and unhealthy diet (and by this I mean a lot of fats, sugar and salt). I have always eaten more or less healthy and diet has very little effect to the condition of my skin, however I admit that when I'm stressed out my eczema is horrendous and this is because I find comfort from eating and drinking huge quantities of sugar compared to my usual diet. However, to me (and many others, although some find release from a change of diet) eating milk free, gluten free, 'pure', and so on, is just torture for nothing, since it has no impact to my skin. Good hydration is important for me, so I drink lots and lots of water, but the infections still come and go.
I cannot really say whether I have suffered more about the visible rash or the itch that it causes, since the looks of the rash are not appealing to me (and therefore I think everyone else finds it disgusting as well), but in the other hand the itch makes me want to turn to a vegetable peeler for help. I have never really been bullied of my skin, maybe because I was pretty chubby as a child, but I have always been very conscious of the looks of it, and very insecure to walk around in clothes exposing my arms or legs when the rash shows up. I still hide under long sleeves and pants in public, when my skin is unwell. As a result from years and years of scratching my skin I've been left with hundreds of scars, which have luckily began to fade away due to me growing up and having some self-discipline, and having found ways to avoid scratching without noticing it. Yes, I still scratch, as everyone around me knows, but way less than when I was little. So, let's talk about the itch.. it the moment I don't even remember how it feels when nothing itches, since the final years at the university, followed by the job hunt have kept me stressed to a tee. It is overwhelming, annoying, irritating, ITCH, that you cannot escape! Anyone who has not experienced an itch like eczema causes understands how itchy it is. Someone very close to me always liked to remind me not to scratch and still does it, but you have no idea how satisfying and amazing it feels to press your nails into the skin and SCRATCH the **it out of it, when the eczema is on. Burning the itching part under hot water also feels heavenly and gives a moment of relief, although it comes with a cost, since it actually makes the skin worse = more itchy.
I must say I have been lucky in a sense, that I have inherited my eczema from my dad, and therefore I have always gotten fast diagnosis and great treatment. At the moment I have a very well working "cream cocktail" to get over the worst days and maintain my skin in a rather symptomless state for most of the time (or during the past year for some of the times when I haven't been experiencing stress), but once one 'cocktail' stops working, the trial through other creams and medicine is agony that can last months, and therefore I am very resistant to try out any new products, no matter how great they could be. Messing up a working system can send my skin to a downward spiral for months, and that is not a gamble I take easily.
I hope this post will help someone else, bring awareness of the thoughts of an individual suffering of eczema, or explain some of my habits or reactions to those around me. This is my story with eczema and there are as many stories as there are story tellers, and I believe it is time to talk about this.
